Tag Archives: goals

7 on the 7th (Late)

So it’s that time of the month again, where I review all my goals set for last month and decide whether I passed or failed. I’ll just give you an advance notice in saying; I did FAR better this month than last.

Here’s a reminder of last months goals. They are notated in italics; my comments on their success/failure follow each in bold.

1. Write – I’ve abandoned the idea of setting out to write a particular amount of chapters because they can vary in size and not really say much for the amount of words. So I plan to write 10,000 words. This shouldn’t be hard, but I do have to start from scratch again. Still – I will do it and maybe even write more than that. (Boy would that make me feel happy.)

SUCCESS! I finished the month with 26,867 ‘keepable’ words. I wrote more than that overall, but canned a bit of it in re-reads and re-writes. Even though I far surpassed my goal for the month somehow I still feel like it wasn’t enough. Hopefully I will out due this number next month.

2. Sketch – At least fully sketch the damn house. Even if it takes tons of graph paper I want to at least have something to show you next month regarding their Bryce & Brynn’s home (which doesn’t even have to be that big anymore considering I removed two members of their family entirely). Since I no longer have AutoCad at home and would only be able to actually draft it during my 30 minute lunch breaks I will remove this from my goal list for the time being.

SUCCESS! Although I completely forgot to send home the scans to show you, I did finish the drafts Bryce & Brynn’s property and I even finished it in AutoCad, which was more than I set out to do. It occurred to me while I was plotting out the land that the house I had in my mind was one I came across a few years ago and marked as my “Dream House” but with some tweaks. Since I can’t show you the layouts today (I’ll show them later this week though), I will attach the pictures of inspiration.



This is the exterior of the house, but imagine it all completely in stone. No Shingles.


This is what I imagine the driveway leading up the property to look like, but with a lot more curves. The point is, it’s lined with trees.


This is how I imagine the walking paths throughout the property.

3. Books – I’m going to stick with reading 3 books because it seems like a reasonable amount to shoot for without taking away from other important activities. If I read more then great, but my mind is sharpest when I’m continually reading and even though it’s difficult to read AND write at the same time I need to get better at this and practice makes perfect. Also, I will only allow myself to buy 3 books this month (well three books for pleasure – you’ll understand that once you see what books I purchase later this week).

SUCCESS! (Well, Partial) I read 3 books entirely (“Hex Hall” by Rachel Hawkins, “Need” by Carrie Jones, & “Linger” by Maggie Stiefvater) and read half of two books (which I never do – reading more than one book at a time is just hard), those books were “The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel” by Michael Scott and “Night Pleasures – A Dark-Hunter Novel” by Sherrilyn Kenyon. The part I failed on though was the buying of books. I ended up buying 6 books this month which was double what I told myself I was allowed to buy, but considering I read as much as I did I’m not exactly beating myself up over it.

4. FanNook – Write 2 book reviews and they need to be for some of the books I read earlier on in the year before they are no longer fresh in my mind. If I write more than great, but I need to at least produce something and 2 seems reasonable. As far as content on the 2 active sites… well I’d like to say I’d stick to it daily, but I’m not sure I will. I’ll shoot for at least 1 post on each a week and see if I can manage that, then maybe next month I can aim higher.

SUCCESS! I actually wrote 3 book reviews this month (even though they weren’t for books I read at the beginning of the year). Those 3 reviews were for “Hex Hall” by Rachel Hawkins (which I’m saving for FanNook), “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner” by Stephenie Meyer which can be found HERE, and “Linger” by Maggie Stiefvater which can be found HERE. I also kept one of the FanNook sites up to date with posts every day or every other day all the way through the 27th. I do need to get back up on top of that, but at least I stuck to it this month like I wanted to.

5. Weight – Lose 5 lbs. 10 lbs was apparently too intimidating so I’ll cut the number in half and see if I can handle that. And if by some miracle I do better than 5, well then I’ll feel even more motivated to do even better the following month.

SUCCESS! Okay my scale says I lost 4.9 lbs to be exact, but I’m gonna say rounding up on this one is okay.

6. Health – Find & Schedule a Dr. Apt. with a general practitioner. I know this may not seem like a truly important goal for me, but I assure you it is. I seriously need to see someone about my migraines and there are several health issues that run in my family such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and thyroid problems that I haven’t had checked in years because I do not have a regular doctor. It’s about time I see a regular doctor, not just the specialty ones I see once a year. I detest going to the doctor though and especially male doctors. Still as my eyes grow weaker and weaker and my head aches more and more and I worry endlessly over the possibilities that something could be wrong with me and I’d never know, I know that now is the time to take care of it not later.

SUCCESS! After a crazy search I finally found a doctor who was taking new patients and accepted my insurance and saw her the week before last. I was very comfortable with her (which is super important to me) and she seemed very thorough. She scheduled me for a series of blood tests which mostly came back good with the exception of my thyroid (which is hypoactive) and my cholesterol levels (which are dangerously high). She would like to test these things again in 3 months before she acts on treating them with medication. She also wants me to see an actual eye doctor and is scheduling me for a CAT scan and possibly a MRI to get to the bottom of my migraines (since they do not run in the family). In the meantime she prescribed me a low grade migraine medicine that has seemed to work, but makes me incredibly tired so I’ve really tried to take them sparingly. Since I was on this health kick, I also scheduled a much overdue dentist appointment which is tomorrow. Bonus :)

7. Save – Start putting aside 50 from each check to fix my truck. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot (since I only get 2 checks a month), but my checks are already planned before I get them (that’s how tight I live) and there isn’t much to spare, sometimes none at all. But my truck is in dire need of work. I need 4 new tires (which will probably be a min. of 75 bucks a piece) and I need some crazy stuff done with my breaks (not the normal routers and pads change) to make them stop hissing and come to a halt on immediate command. I’m constantly paranoid while driving because of these neglected things and a paranoid driver is never good.

FAIL! This didn’t happen for a variety of reasons. One being, my damn BGE bill went up another 50 bucks from the 50 dollar increase it already faced last month (total 210.00 bill!) This heat is killing us on electricity to try and stay cool. CAN NOT WAIT until FALL!!!! Plus I took my car for an oil change which was another 45 bucks where they informed me that since I’ve never flushed my transmission (which is apparently supposed to be done every two years – I’ve had my truck for 6 of it’s 8 years of life) that I no longer can and it is likely to die altogether soon. ::Sigh:: Which means I will be needing a new form of transportation in the near future so at this point, what’s the point in investing money into a dying machine? Mom and I are talking about my options as buying a new car isn’t exactly ideal at the moment.

Alright so overall for the month I had a fairly successful outcome. On a grading scale this would be an 85% (B) which is still no A, but acceptable in my book. So what do my goals look like for next month? Let’s see…

I’ve decided to cut the number of goals down because coming up with 7 actual goals feels a bit difficult. And because of this I will probably make the goal post earlier next month so I can stick with the “# on the #th” style titles.

1. Write – This is always goal #1. I am so incredibly eager to finish my book (for the second time) and get it in motion. So I’m pushing hard on this one. This month my word count goal is 20,000. If I was able to do all that I did this month in basically a week there should be no reason why I can’t do it in a month. And I’m really hoping I will double the goal again next month. That would really put me ahead of the game.

2. Read – Read at least 3 books again this month. This number doesn’t intimidate me and so I will stick to it. Plus of the writing I’ve done this month and shared with my mother she is just blown away by the improvement in ability in just the last year and the fact that I’ve learned it all just from reading. So obviously it’s not something I should cut back on, it’s important. Like free schooling since I’ve never been officially trained. As far as buying books goes. Well I still have 2 books from last months purchases to finish before I should let myself buy more so I will try and uphold myself to that, but my dad is in the process of building me a bookcase and something tells me the second I have it I will be even more tempted to buy what’s waiting for me in my Amazon shopping cart. Those books are: “Captivate” by Carrie Jones, “The Iron King” by Julie Kagawa, and “Fantasy Lover” (Dark-Hunter Book 1) by Sherrilyn Kenyon.

3. Weight – At least 5 more lbs. I really need to take this weight loss thing more seriously for more than one reason. The most important is my health though. I am wearing 60 more lbs than I should be for my height and age and with those high cholesterol levels the combination is not good. Now the hypothyroidism could be playing a part in this inability to lose weight lately, but hopefully I can get that under control too in the next couple of months. But I’ve also got a little over a year to be ready to stand in my sisters wedding and I don’t want her looking bad with me as “the Blob” in her wedding party.

4. Music – Stop Avoiding it. I can’t believe I’m really saying that because Lord knows it can be so distracting to me at times, but I’ve found over the last week with my newly acquired obsession with “Local Natives” that new tunes are necessary sometimes and since my old playlist isn’t exactly giving me the motivation it used to it’s time to let some new songs into my vision. My sister is making me a mix CD based on my acceptance and enjoyment of her “Local Natives” suggestion so hopefully there will be some more goodies to get addicted to on there. Any other suggestions are welcome :)

And in the spirit of the happiness music is bringing me these days, here’s the latest “Local Natives” song on repeat. I promise I’ll try to make this the last one as I’m sure you’re getting tired of my persistence with this band. I’m sorry, I just can’t help it.


That’s it for the month, just 4 goals. Shouldn’t be too hard to manage and hopefully I’ll do all of them better than I’m anticipating. ::Fingers Crossed::

Peace – Sarah

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Productive? Yay or Nay?

So while I’ve only worked on my book once so far since the 7th (which is bad), I have been getting quite a few others things tackled. Whether they are getting accomplished because I’m avoiding my own book or because I’m really trying to stay dedicated to my monthly goals, I do not know, but nonetheless they’re getting done. Now if only I could get back to my book… :(

Anyway, here’s where I’ve been for the past couple of days: FanNook

I finished reading “Linger” by Maggie Stiefvater and completed my review. Since books.fannook.com will not be launched until at least the middle of August I will share this book review here tomorrow and re-post there when it’s up and ready. It was easily one of my favorite books of the year and I’d be surprised if many others can knock it off its pedestal. You will see why tomorrow.

I also finished writing my review for “Hex Hall” by Rachel Hawkins, but I will save that for the site launch. Even though I was only aiming to have 2 reviews completed this month in the way of goals, I’ve already finished one more than necessary and I’m thinking that there should be at least 5 on the site when it launches so it doesn’t look empty. So I’ve been working on reviews in my down time at work a lot.

In addition to the reviews I’ve also been plotting design ideas and sketching like a fool. I have 4 different header designs I’m playing with right now and I know what kind of script I’m looking for; I just need to find it (which means possibly hours of searching through wordpress templates – boring!).

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In other news, I called a gazillion doctors last week and finally found one today that was accepting new patients & takes my insurance (you wouldn’t think it’d be that hard, but apparently it is). My apt. is next Wednesday. I also scheduled a dentist apt. because it occurred to me that it’s been a while since I’ve seen them too. I figured if I was on this health kick I might as well go all out. That apt. will be in the beginning of August.

I also started reading “Need” by Carrie Jones. I haven’t gotten far into yet, but that’s because I’m trying to be strict with myself and only allow myself to read it in “free time” like lunch, while I’m waiting for dinner to finish cooking, etc… If it takes me all week to read then oh well.

Now, a great deal of my time this last weekend was spent trying to work around my cat, Tay, who is either way too cute not to notice and/or trying to fit in inappropriate places (ex: places she doesn’t belong, places she doesn’t fit, places that make working impossible, etc…). Getting her to move from these types of locations always results in a war of some sort and a lot of back talking on her part (she thinks she runs the show in this house apparently). She’s lucky she’s so cute, otherwise it would drive me mad.

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And last but not least. Wanting this makes me a total dork, right? Oh well I still want it.

Description from Amazon: The Merriam-Webster Vocabulary Builder allows you to enjoy informative and entertaining discussions of English words derived from Greek and Latin roots–and expand your working vocabulary at the same time. Words that share the same root are grouped for easy study. Quizzes let you test how much you’ve learned.

Peace – Sarah

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7 on the 7th

So it’s come to that time, my first monthly goals report. ::Hangs head in Shame:: I’m afraid to report that I FAILED big time. I can only hope that this crummy feeling of failure will only force me to work harder at my goals for next month so my 7 on the 7th post will feel more rewarding the second time around. I don’t know that I could live with such failure two months in a row.

Here’s a reminder of last months goals. They are notated in italics; my comments on their success/failure follow each in bold.

1. Rewrite Chapters 1-5 into Chapters 1-3. Continue revisions through original Chapter 9.

FAIL! Early on in the month I did rewrite the intro, Chapter 1, and Chapter 2, however now they need to change yet again. And I never made it farther than that which is just pitiful. I finished the month with only writing a little over 8,000 words which will now be canned. Shame on me.

2. Sketch and draft revised layout for Bryce & Brynn’s family’s home. If you’re interested in seeing Teagan’s apartment you can view it HERE.

FAIL! I thought about the revised house and I even attempted to sketch it a few times, but I never got further than a rough outline of the outer edge of the house which I’m not even sure I still like. (SMH)

3. Read at least 3 of my newest books. And do not buy anymore books until I’ve read the ones I’ve just recently purchased, which shouldn’t be until July.

SUCCESS! I actually read 3 ½ books, the last one will likely be finished later today so maybe I could technically say 4, but who wouldn’t have believed I could read 3 books? When you’re a book addict this isn’t exactly hard. Buying more books until July though, was unbelievably hard, but I succeeded at that too. Sure my Amazon wishlist is overflowing now with books that want to be mine very badly, but I did not buy anymore which feels good and bad all at the same time.

4. Keep up to date on FanNook with at least a post every other day on at least one of the sites. Also begin preparing book reviews and design work for future site launch.

FAIL! I started off the month great, adding content to the two active FanNook sites everyday for the first two weeks and then… well I just overlooked it? No I just didn’t care to think about it. I even gathered content, but never posted it. Such a waste of time. And I didn’t write a single book review. Well I wrote mini ones for LJ, but nothing like I wanted to do for FanNook. And I thought about what I want the layout to look like, but I still haven’t decided on anything in particular for the design work. So again… pretty much a failure.

5. Lose 10 lbs. via increased work out and a more restrictive diet.

MAJOR FAIL! Wow, this might just be the most shameful of my failures for the month. At some point in the middle I actually GAINED 4lbs. Gained, WTF?!?! So now I’m at least back to where I started last month, but feeling embarrassed by my inability to shed this fat suit. Curse you FATNESS!

6. Go to bed on weeknights by 11pm opposed to the usual 1/2am so that when 6am rolls around for work I’m not fighting myself to be alert.

Partial SUCCESS! This one was easier than I thought (most days). There were quiet a few nights I went to bed around 12 instead of 11, but that’s still earlier than 1/2am and there were even several nights when I went to bed at 10:30! ::Gasp:: I know, shocking. I don’t know if it’s that I’m getting older or if it’s because I was sick for more than a ¼ of the month, but I figure I balanced out somewhere between the earlier days and the later days so I think this was partially successful.

7. Try to avoid buying or finding new music so that I am not distracted by yet another obsession when I should be writing. Remind myself that I have plenty (for now).

SUCCESS! Okay, I did buy two songs early on in the month after being tempted by Maggie’s Linger playlist, but since my IPod is back to not syncing it was difficult to listen to the tracks anywhere other than at my home PC and on the CD I made for my drives to work. I also did get some older CD’s from the library to update my 90’s alternative rock collection with, but these are songs I already know and that do not distract me at all. In fact, submerging myself in this playlist actually helped remind me why I loved Teagan’s rocker chick self to begin with and helped keep her voice in my mind a bit. So yeah, I’d say success 😉

So how does that rate for the month as a whole? Well if I was grading myself on an A-B-C system I’d have a D, which was NEVER a passing grade in my house (whether school thought so or not (shoot, a C wasn’t even passing in my house, but…)). So yeah, total failure on my part. Can I argue that I was sick for a sad majority of the month? Sure, but it’s still no excuse. I MUST do better this month. Failure leads to negativity and I certainly do not need any of that!

For this month I will shoot a little less high and hope to over succeed my set goals. If this doesn’t work, maybe it’s hopeless. But I hope that’s not the case and I can get back on track.

Goals for July:

1. Write – I’ve abandoned the idea of setting out to write a particular amount of chapters because they can vary in size and not really say much for the amount of words. So I plan to write 10,000 words. This shouldn’t be hard, but I do have to start from scratch again. Still – I will do it and maybe even write more than that. (Boy would that make me feel happy.)

2. Sketch – At least fully sketch the damn house. Even if it takes tons of graph paper I want to at least have something to show you next month regarding Bryce & Byrnn’s home (which doesn’t even have to be that big anymore considering I removed two members of their family entirely). Since I no longer have AutoCad at home and would only be able to actually draft it during my 30 minute lunch breaks I will remove this part from my goal list for the time being.

3. Books – I’m going to stick with reading 3 books because it seems like a reasonable amount to shoot for without taking away from other important activities. If I read more then great, but my mind is sharpest when I’m continually reading and even though it’s difficult to read AND write at the same time I need to get better at this and practice makes perfect. Also, I will only allow myself to buy 3 books this month (well three books for pleasure – you’ll understand that once you see what books I purchase later this week).

4. FanNook – Write 2 book reviews and they need to be for some of the books I read earlier on in the year before they are no longer fresh in my mind. If I write more then great, but I need to at least produce something and 2 seems reasonable. As far as content on the 2 active sites… well I’d like to say I’d stick to it daily, but I’m not sure I will. I’ll shoot for at least 1 post on each a week and see if I can manage that, then maybe next month I can aim higher.

5. Weight – Lose 5 lbs. 10 lbs was apparently too intimidating so I’ll cut the number in half and see if I can handle that. And if by some miracle I do better than 5, well then I’ll feel even more motivated to do even better the following month.

6. Health – Find & Schedule a Dr. Apt. with a general practitioner. I know this may not seem like a truly important goal for me, but I assure you it is. I seriously need to see someone about my migraines and there are several health issues that run in my family such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and thyroid problems that I haven’t had checked in years because I do not have a regular doctor. It’s about time I see a regular doctor, not just the specialty ones I see once a year. I detest going to the doctor though and especially male doctors. Still as my eyes grow weaker and weaker and my head aches more and more and I worry endlessly over the possibilities that something could be wrong with me and I’d never know, I know that now is the time to take care of it not later.

7. Save – Start putting aside 50 from each check to fix my truck. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot (since I only get 2 checks a month), but my checks are already planned before I get them (that’s how tight I live) and there isn’t much to spare, sometimes none at all. But my truck is in dire need of work. I need 4 new tires (which will probably be a min. of 75 bucks a piece) and I need some crazy stuff done with my breaks (not the normal routers and pads change) to make them stop hissing and come to a halt on immediate command. I’m constantly paranoid while driving because of these neglected things and a paranoid driver is never good.

So that’s it, my goals for July. Lord, let me have more success this month than the last!

Peace – Sarah

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P.S. Later today, expect a post full of writing woes. Just warning you, I’ve got a lot on my mind in regards to my book and since I intend on jumping back into it the minute I’m finished “Infinity” the time to get these thoughts sorted out is now.

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Friday, Thank God you’ve finally arrived

I took a mini break from the internet this week, but boy did I miss a lot. Both LJ and FB failed to notify me of messages/comments waiting and I am just now seeing that I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. *Good thing it’s the weekend*

All of my new books finally arrived, but apparently I can’t count because I thought I ordered 7 when in fact I really only ordered 6. Either way, I’m giddy over the nice pile they’ve created. Check out their beauty 😉

Despite my still ongoing headache I couldn’t resist the urge to start reading one. I’m in the middle of “The Overton Window” and it’s VERY good so far. I think I will read “Betwixt” next week and that “Bree Tanner” book the following since it will be close to the release of Eclipse. Not sure of the order after that and even though I have these beauties I’ve been struggling terribly with the temptation of ordering more.

In regards to the throbbing pain I’ve been experiencing all week all of my goals seemed to have been placed on hold. I couldn’t work out, I couldn’t write, and I think this week is the longest I’ve ever went without listening to music. My head couldn’t tolerate the sound. Even my own voice seemed too loud for me. Today the headache seems no where near as strong and I hope that means it’s finally finished torturing me for a little bit so I can resume my monthly goals.

Well off to play catch up with the net world. Hope everyone has a happy Friday 😉

Peace – Sarah

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Curiosity & Priorities

In this post I have a few writer related questions that I hope to spawn discussion out of and I will also be making note of this months goals. I’ve decided writing them down will likely lead to a better possibility of accomplishing them rather than letting them slip around in my head and lose tract of themselves.

Writing Question #1: What’s your take on switching between characters in the middle of a chapter as long as it’s obviously denoted?

I ask because I initially wrote my story with breaks in each chapter for the character switch off, but most of the books I’ve read lately with multiple voices only do the switches in the chapter change. I kind of liked my way of doing it, but if it’s unconventional and difficult for readers, obviously I need to adjust my thinking.

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I’ve posed the next question before, but I didn’t have “writer” readers back then so I’ll spin it again.

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Writing Question #2: What is the max age the character can be in a young adult novel?

I’ve seen varying definitions of this age and my characters are 20, turning 21, which I personally still consider young adult. A lot surrounds being 21 for them. However, for 20/21 year olds they are very innocent – never having experienced things most teenagers do such as having friends or girl/boyfriends. Will they be too old to still be considered young adult? I worry about this because I don’t want them to be too adult and I don’t want to write them doing things more adult in nature when that’s not how I imagined them, but since 21 is so pivotal to the story I don’t want to make them younger either. Any insight on this would be greatly appreciated.

~Moving On~

Goals for June:

1. Rewrite Chapters 1-5 into Chapters 1-3. Continue revisions through original Chapter 9.

2. Sketch and draft revised layout for Bryce & Brynn’s family’s home. If you’re interested in seeing Teagan’s apartment you can view it HERE.

3. Read at least 3 of my newest books. And do not buy anymore books until I’ve read the ones I’ve just recently purchased, which shouldn’t be until July.

4. Keep up to date on FanNook with at least a post every other day on at least one of the sites. Also begin preparing book reviews and design work for future site launch.

5. Lose 10 lbs. via increased work out and a more restrictive diet.

6. Go to bed on weeknights by 11pm opposed to the usual 1/2am so that when 6am rolls around for work I’m not fighting myself to be alert.

7. Try to avoid buying or finding new music so that I am not distracted by yet another obsession when I should be writing. Remind myself that I have plenty (for now).

Ok I like the number 7, so I’ll stick with that many. Hopefully by this time next month I can gloat a bit about accomplishing them all. (Hopefully)

Random fact before I finish. I tallied up the books I’ve read since May of 2009 (since that’s when I started heavily reading things other than biographies, political and/or religious content) and the total is 26 books in just over a year. I doubt that’s a lot for avid readers, but it feels like a lot for me and I feel kind of proud. Several of those books I read 2-4 times each too, but I didn’t factor that in. Now that I read much faster and almost all of the time I wonder how many I will have read by this time next year.

Peace – Sarah

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The dark corners of me…

Something inside of me is dying, crying, reaching for something – anything to pull me out of this. I feel empty, baseless, like a wasted shell. And no matter how much I know I need to get myself away from this mentality, I just can’t seem to escape it. I feel like I’ve walked back into a forbidden territory, one where I don’t belong, one where I die if I enter again.

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The above was written this morning at work, where I can not log into livejournal. Obviously my mood yesterday had only grown worse and it wasn’t the rain or my writing bothering me, it was just me. I was a bit over dramatic about it this morning though, which I guess was a nice wake up call.

Musically today – the song below was the first thing that came to mind when I woke up. I haven’t listened to this song or genre of music for a while now. It was part of my past, when I wasn’t right in the head. I listened to my 40+ albums worth of Psychopathic Records music all day after this one – although I’m not sure if it was such a good idea. I thought some songs like “Serial Killa” and “Gimme that Blood” would be good mood setting songs for reading Dexter, but there are too many songs like the one below or the death letter style of “I’m Alright” and I think it may have only made my dismal perception of myself worse.

Twiztid – Wrong with Me (There’s no real video, just the song, but they’ve also provided the lyrics)

Anyway, I’m a little numb now which is actually good (I think). Finally capable of ending my own pity party, I’ve been trying to give deeper thought into what exactly is making me feel this way because I MUST get out of this. I will not accept regression. So the following seem to be the things that are most prominent in my mind (they are in no particular order).

1. I Hate Change – There’s a lot of change either going on around me or that needs to be happening, but I live by routine – I don’t like to vary from the pattern.

2. OCD is no longer my Friend – OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) has always worked for me even though it’s terrible for some people. It made me overly organized and neat. It set high expectations for myself and compelled me to meet them. It may have made me bitchy at times, but overall having it was a good thing for me. Now I’m not so sure. Those organized tendencies escape me now and it makes me waste time doing things like reading and re-reading and re-re-reading, etc… every little thing I write. I’m positive this is playing a huge role in why it’s taking me so long.

3. Schedules – I need to schedule time to write, time to work out, time to read, time to work on my websites (which I’ve completely neglected), time to sleep longer than 5 hours a night – I need to set a schedule and stick to it. Go back to the ways of living by a planner and get myself organized again.

Other things like getting older and my weight loss are also gnawing at my mind, but I know they’re irrational worries. I’m really not that old and I’ve got to stop thinking like my life is going to be over in 2 years or something. And I’m already working on the weight thing and the revised schedule should make it go faster.

So in conclusion I’m not better, but I know I will be. I’m done egging on the negativity. I’ve decided to face the changes and get over myself already. This is ridiculous at this point. I don’t wallow like this, not anymore at least.

Shoving my face into some books for a little bit to clear out all the ugly, to paint me a pretty picture (or maybe not so pretty reading Dexter?), and to let someone else’s words fill my thoughts.

Peace – Sarah

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