Tag Archives: funny

A Little bit of Everything

I’m having a really hard time staying focused on anything except reading these days, but I made promises and I hate to break them. So here I am, trying to uphold said promises. (Sorry for the randomness of this post).

First: New Hair & BOYS THAT BITE! Finally it looks the way I wanted it, however it’s been raining for days on end here so the styling of said new hair isn’t going too great. I kept trying to put off the picture for a non-rain filled day, but I’m tired of waiting now. So imagine it styled better than the picture shows.


Thanks again Heather! (aka edgyauthor)

Second: I was apparently a lot sicker than I initially thought last week and ended up having to take two days off of work for what I assume was the flu. When you spend more time with a porcelain bowl than anything else, the flu is usually the culprit. I did get a lot of reading accomplished though, which brings me to…

Third: I finished ACHERON!

It is easily the best book in the series. Truthfully, the best book I’ve read all year. And if I’m really honest, it’s probably the best book I’ve read since I got into all these fantasy based reads. I even recommend it as a stand alone novel (if you never read another Dark-Hunter novel prior to or after) that’s how good it was.

Mind you, it’s a 750 page book that’s as heavy as an encyclopedia but it’s so enthralling you kind of can’t put it down. And it did some neat things like: start in 1st person from Acheron’s sister Ryssa’s diary at the moment he was born all the way up until he was about 17. I cringed, cried, and shook my head in disbelief for almost the first 250 pages. Then it switches to third person (like the rest of the series) and focuses on how Acheron’s taking how dreadful his life is. I chocked up some more in agony for a fictional character. Despite being a fantasy novel, this book is heavy with meaning, character depth, moral value, unbelievable strength, and more.

Since I know none of my LJ friends have read any of these books yet, FYI Acheron is the leader of the Dark-Hunters and is 11,000+ years old even though he looks 21. Throughout the entire series you know very little about him except that he is wise like Yoda and all powerful and you respect him for this. He’s also very selfless and removed, never letting anyone into his life even though he might like to and once you read his life story you finally understand why. Luckily, his story has a happy ending (well semi-happy I suppose considering someone’s always out to destroy him, but you’d have to keep reading the series to know that). If you only read one Dark-Hunter novel ever though, this is the one I’d suggest reading.

Oh and in case all of that doesn’t convince you, maybe this picture of who Sherrilyn and her fans all consider to be Acheron. Beautiful, right? I wonder if Travis Fimmel (Calvin Klein model featured below) knows how much of a fan base he has that aren’t Calvin Klein fans…

I only have 4 more books to read in this series now, one of which I’m more than halfway through and will likely finish tonight. I know there will be more books released, but I can already sense a bit of depression coming when I’m finally finished with them. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being in Sherrilyn Kenyon’s world these past couple of weeks and I will most definitely miss it.

Fourth: Oh the drama! My Friday night was filled with vomit and for once last week, it wasn’t mine. Regardless, it was nasty. The following text is copied from mine and Heath’s FB accounts (so any of you who are friends there too, sorry you’re seeing it twice).

My Status:

“Conversation I just had with my neighbors above (who’ve been partying annoyingly all night long)…

Me: Are you f*cking throwing up in my garden?
Drunken Guest: (leans over balcony as if he’s about to explode again) Yes.
Me: Are you f*cking kidding me? This is the second time you guys have thrown up in my garden. Your ass better get down he…re and clean that shit up this time.
Drunken Guest: (heaves, then breathes) I will Mame, I’m sorry.
Me: (Stomps back into house sighing in disgust)

I hate my neighbors….”

Heath’s Status:

“Hearing some one throw up in the backyard from a balcony because they can’t hold down beer, funny. Watching Sarah Whisted go outside and bitch the dude throwing up, telling him to come down and clean it. Priceless.”

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Yeah, disgusting right? Funny as hell though. My neighbors have basically hidden from us since Friday. Never even turning lights on when they know we are home.

Fifth: That short story I wrote for Sisters Fate is a no go. After re-reading it I wasn’t satisfied enough with it to put online. I don’t know what it is with me and this fear I have over my work. I know you’ll all be respectable with your criticism, but I still freak out over the idea of putting it online. I’m still in disbelief that I’ve actually posted snippets of my real WIP. I think getting over this fear may seriously have to be something I work on in 2011 as a resolution. If I plan to be a successful writer I can’t carry the kind of fear I have, right?

Well I suppose that’s all the updates I have for you today. I’ll be making my monthly goals post tomorrow (on time for once) and trying to catch up on all the posts I missed in the past week. Sorry about that BTW… I’m going backwards in the way of technology. I grew up with it instead of books for entertainment. Now I seem to avoid all forms of technology (ex: PC’s, internet, TV’s, etc…) and only want to spend my time reading. Very bizarre.

Until next time…

Peace – Sarah

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Friday Funny

I’m not typically a fan of email forwards, but this one was rather funny… for writers at least.

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A Creative Writing professor told his class one day: “Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Every person will be paired with a classmate.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send a copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add a second paragraph to the story, which will then be sent back to the partner, with a copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”

Between Rebecca and Bill

THE STORY:

(Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(Bill) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geo-station 17,” he said into his trans-galactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.

(Bill) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam , felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized even poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Bill) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F–KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I’m such an air headed bimbo. I guess I’ve read too many Danielle Steele novels!”

(Rebecca) A$$h@le.

(Bill) B*tch!

(Rebecca) F*** YOU – YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Bill) In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER) A+ – I really liked this one.

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