A little snip here, a little snip there…

The crappy thing about re-writing your work is being forced to cut out lines and scenes that had so much power in the first version. There’s no way they’d fit now, but they were written so much better then the rest of it and held so much energy. Energy wasted, now they are words with no purpose. It feels like they’ve become victim to a graveyard of words.

They’re hard to say goodbye to.

Me & my porcelain friend or enemy?

So I’ve been sick, with what I think to be the flu, all week… wonderful, right? As a result I missed my sister’s birthday dinner, incapable of being out eating seafood and pies for 5 hours without getting sick. Being at work was a difficult enough task, but I didn’t have enough paid time off to stay home for more then one day this week. I also was not well enough to celebrate St. Patrick’s day which is possibly one of my favorite holidays being nearly 100% Irish and all so big bummer there. Heath and I were going to have drinks and then see Alice in Wonderland in IMAX… I suppose we’ll do it another day.

I’ve wanted to write all week, but being sick hasn’t really allowed for much of that. I did, however, finish reading the Book of Ember series by Jeanne DuPrau which was awesome! I’m excited to see the rest of the books be made into movies. And even though I wanted to write it was nice taking a break to read. It always enhances my vocabulary and awakens my mind a bit. I added a ton of books to my birthday wish list on Amazon this week. I even added a few that I actually read growing up because they’re so cheap and I’d like to read them again and see if I still love them like I did then.

Of the writing I was able to accomplish this week, it was only the revisions to Chapter 1 and 2. In these chapters I experienced my main characters living quarters for the first time, but in my first version I didn’t bother to talk about its layout. Back when I wrote it though I went out of my way to design the apartment in AutoCAD. Why did I go to all of that trouble and then not describe it at all when it came into view? Obviously I’ve corrected that wrong and since it probably won’t hurt to share here’s the layout of my female main characters apartment. (It’s not like anyone actually reads my blog anyway, right?)

Also, it was a surprise to me, but I realized this week that sometimes I need to write without music. I almost always have music playing in at least one ear throughout the day. And while it is so very influential in my writing at times, there are moments where it’s just a complete distraction. I took a 2 day break from music this week, even at work, and the silence was awkward at first, but did allow my mind to free itself of the music that had been taking over.

I’ve also been spending a great deal of my time these days helping two particular individuals with their mental stability. Sometimes it feels heavy, but I won’t lie I enjoy it. I learned all of my lessons the hard way and it’s nice to try and help people before they have to face the hard road I walked. It does hurt to know their struggles though. I can easily get wrapped up in worrying about them, but I just pray about it and hope that what I’m doing helps.

I’m hoping for a better week next week, the weather’s been beautiful and I’d like to actually get outside and enjoy it. Maybe I’ll actually put my expensive ass camera to use for once.

Peace – Sarah

Weekly Round up…

Oddly enough this past week had similar experiences to the week prior which unfortunately was a bit draining. There never seems to be a shortage of drama in our society, I just wish it’d stop finding me. I don’t have the energy to waste on it.

On a good note I mended the broken bridge of last week and wrote some awesome new stuff this week for my book. The first time I wrote the book I forced myself to write it in order even if that’s not what I was actually hearing at the time. This time I’ve decided to write whatever comes to me and worry about piecing it together later. It’s made the writing so much more exciting this week. I wrote about magical trunks and prophecies and every time I re-read it I feel excited to read what comes next. I hope that’s a good sign.

I’ve been totally addicted to Arctic Monkeys for the past two weeks now, listening to them and Tegan & Sara on a constant loop together. I was super stoked to find out they are playing here the day before my birthday next month, but unfortunately no one really wants to go with me. It’s a little disappointing to me that no one likes the same things I do, but my mother has offered to accompany me just because she loves me and it’s my birthday. I hope it won’t be too miserable for her.

Lastly I am happy to say this week that I’ve officially lost fifteen pounds. I’ve been trying to shed this fat suit since January and it’s moving slow, but it feels good to hit this hurdle. I still have a lot to lose, but I’m determined like never before and praying the pounds will keep coming off.  

Peace – Sarah

Crazy Week

Let me start by saying… Thank God it’s Friday!

This week was pretty draining and rewarding all at the same time. Some unfortunate things happened like a long time friend said farewell for really no good reason at all except maybe her erratic state of mind at the moment. It’s something I have to just let go of, but it was disturbing regardless.

My revised story sounds beautiful in my mind and I’m excited to get started on the edits. Of course there’s yet another new story or “plot bunny” (c/o Maggie) playing out occasionally, but it’s not overpowering me yet. I’m going to try to keep the reigns on it a little tighter this time around so I don’t lose weeks of writing over it.

I came across a few new artists (only to me, they’ve actually been around for a little bit now) and they’ve filled my insides with this completely alive feeling. One of the bands is playing in my home town in a little over a month from now the day before my birthday. I REALLY hope to go – I’m in the mood to jump around in a pit!

Randomly wrote these random thoughts earlier this week at work, in the midst of drafting a final location on a new house.

“I live in a place my brain created, always present in my mind with its own soundtrack. I live most of my life inside of my head even when I appear to be right there in front of you. It’s just the nature of my brain, you see, and the reality I no longer have to face because of this place.”


Sometimes it feels like there just aren’t enough words…

Not enough juice in my brain to let the words flow through to my fingers.
Not enough time to write everything I feel.
Not enough.


Peace – Sarah

And so a new direction begins…

I made a big decision this weekend, one that I’ve been mulling over for quite a while now.

To start – three weeks ago I finished the edits on my first draft – part 1 of my book and since have felt away from myself mentally. So many new stories have presented themselves to me in the past three weeks and while I usually welcome the creativity it felt like I was being bombarded. I’d hear their voices so prominently in my head that it was giving me a headache. Too many people from too many different stories all demanding my attention at the same time. I’d try to entertain one story for the night and finish three chapters of it, going to bed thinking about what would come next only to wake up ready to write a new story. And so I did. In a little over a weeks time I had finished the first four chapters of three new stories and several snippets to the future of my main story. Not to mention the countless other plots I jotted down. When I finally appeased all of the new characters I felt numb.

While all of those new story lines pranced around in my brain, somewhere lost in the back of it was my main story. I wanted to return to it, but once I finally had the time I couldn’t bring myself to think about it. What was I avoiding? I decided to pick up a book for a while and let someone else’s words fill my mind instead of my own. It was unbelievably refreshing. I couldn’t put the book down it was so good and when I was finished, I read it again because it was just that perfect. I started another series after that wanting to continue to build my mental strength. And then finally I faced what I’d been avoiding all along.

I wasn’t satisfied with the length of my story or the unnecessary extra descriptive scenes. And I didn’t like the binding that surrounded it as it stood. I wanted more freedom with it, I wanted it more mine. There was so much I still loved about it and where it’s heading, but I know if I make adjustments it could be 100% better.

So this Saturday I finally felt like writing, but wasn’t sure what I should be writing. I turned on some Citizen Cope and stared off into space for a few hours letting the story play itself over and over again in my head. Waiting for the new piece, the missing thread, to show itself to me and then as if God had literally answered my prayers it walked into my mind. My fingers fell onto the keyboard and didn’t stop. Over and over again this pattern of space and typing to Citizen Cope repeated itself for the entire day until everything I didn’t like had been replaced.

So the big decision… well I’ve got a lot of editing to do to the last six months worth of work, but I think in the long run it will be for the better. Oddly enough I’m excited about it. I was a little overwhelmed at first about all the work wasted and all the work to come, but I like this new direction so much that I’m excited to write it.

I like feeling like me again, let’s hope there’s not another kink in my creativity for a while so I get some much needed writing accomplished.

Peace – Sarah

P.S. I hate when I come across a song that I don’t want to like, but then I do. Well I have to admit I found myself dancing to this song on repeat several times this weekend. The beat is sick IMO and there’s some pretty bad dance moves in the video. Dancing makes me happy 😉

Writer’s Block: It’s me, not you

Yes I have and it was the best thing for me at the time. I was on a downward spiral to nowhere associating myself with them. It didn’t matter how much it hurt to walk away or how much I cared about them. I was withering away to nothing being friends with them and my life has greatly improved since. Sometimes it’s just what you have to do.