1st Birthday Party Victory!

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I’ve been shooting my good friend Lauren and her family since she was pregnant with Luciano, so when she asked me to shoot his first birthday party I said yes without much thought. Admittedly, though, when I got there, I fell into the first panic attack I’ve had in ages.

 

There were just so many strangers, packed tight in the same tiny space, trying to avoid the unexpected rain outside. I kept pressing myself into the wall, willing myself to become invisible, trying to talk myself out of freaking out and making a fool of myself. All the while, I was wondering how I could have possibly gotten myself into this trap. Don’t I know better? I could have said no, but for some reason I thought I’d be fine. You know, moxie and what not. I’ve done that this year, right?

 

I did eventually settle down, after sitting alone in another room and telling myself to suck it up, and luckily Lauren let me tag along wherever she went until I started to be less concerned with all the stranger faces and more concerned with capturing Luciano’s birthday party (which I think I did okay with despite the dreary day, thankfully). Still, I am a bit embarrassed. I just don’t know how I got this way. And every time I think I’ve practiced being brave enough, something reminds me I’m still socially crippled. I’ve just gotta keep believing I can overcome this someday, sooner rather than later hopefully. And be grateful that I have friends like Lauren who still believe in me despite my qualms.

 

Social anxiety aside, here are some pictures of the adorable birthday boy. Probably the most conservative 1 year old cake eater I’ve ever seen! 😉

 

(Use the arrows to click through the slideshow below)

 

 

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2 Responses to "1st Birthday Party Victory!"

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  1. Heather Holden

    August 25, 2014 at 7:06 am

    Panic attacks are the worst. (I had two just this month!) Sorry this ended up stressing you out so much, but that’s great how you were able to take great pictures regardless! These are all so cute, especially when the parents are making faces at him… :)

    • Sarah

      September 1, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having your own panic attacks. I almost forgot how crippling they can be, but I was grateful to be somewhere grounded. I used to get them the most while driving, which was terrifying. :/

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